A day in my life

2/22/2011

Today I woke up in the same pain I have been having now for a few months.
I guess it is fair to say I have been having aches and pains for as long
as I can remember, but it was always easy to explain away by saying I had
done this or that to that particular joint. This recent pain is so
different. It is everywhere - all joints - and it is all the time. I also
have hot flashes that make me miserable all the time. When other people
are bundled up, I am sweating, and I cannot figure out why. Then add on
the fatigue. I feel like I am a horrible mother because I can't seem to
muster enough energy to play with my sweet boys as much as I would like. I
feel like a big blob.

My family has been wonderful. Even when I complain about the pain or want
to take a rest, they are understanding. The boys don't really understand,
but they seem to be willing to let momma have down time.

Today I was supposed to meet with my doctor (actually a nurse practitioner,
but still my PCP). She ended up having a family emergency and had to
reschedule my appointment. I ended up making an appointment with the other
NP for tomorrow morning. I hope I get some answers.

I have been doing the typical "Internet diagnosing" lately because I am so
anxious for answers. From what I am finding, things seem to be pointing to
rheumatoid arthritis, or lesser to fybromyalgia or lyme disease. I
recently had my annual checkup and my thyroid checked out fine. I have
PCOS, and even my blood sugar/glucose numbers were better than usual. Of
course, my cholesterol is still out of whack, but with diet, exercise,
fish oil, flaxseed oild, and a low-dose med, that should be better soon.
What I really hate now is that I feel like an elderly woman with all of my
meds in the morning and my aching joints.

What happened to the energetic woman I used to be? I am only 35 and feel
like I am 85!

Here's hoping and praying for answers.